The 16th Man

PAT Spillane coined the phrase ‘puke football’ in 2003 when Tyrone beat his beloved Kerry in an All-Ireland semi-final.

Pat was wrong because while the game Tyrone were playing at the time was highly tactical and involved every player on the field defending when they hadn’t got the ball, it was extremely attractive and entertaining.

Mickey Harte might not have sent out a team to stand in their traditional positions to play 15 v 15 and he certainly didn’t encourage anyone to let the ball into the forwards early just for the sake of it.

But there was much to admire in the way they went about winning games, and three All-Ireland titles.

Plenty of other teams have adapted similar tactics to varying degrees of success, with Dublin taking it to an absolute maximum last year when they got 14 men behind the ball and, in the quarter-final, let Tyrone win each of their kick-outs uncontested.

It was certainly different to watch, but there was still much to admire as the Dubs hit on the break, moving the ball swiftly and running up some big scoring totals.

Puke football does exist however and Laois were the culprits in Croke Park last Sunday.

It’s unclear exactly how they intended to win their Leinster quarter-final against Dublin with the tactics they employed.

Manager Justin McNulty got his team back into Division 1 of the Football League in his first season in charge and that is to be applauded.

But as long as he persists with the tactics he has employed so far this year further progress doesn’t look likely. And Laois aren’t alone – there are plenty of other teams doing the same thing.

There’s no point in getting nearly every player to track back and defend if there’s no clear policy for what to do when they have the ball.

Laois set out not to lose a game on Sunday. In soccer it was the equivalent of playing for a nil-all draw, but zero-zero scorelines don’t happen in Gaelic football.

It was 14 minutes before they managed their first shot at the target, 16 minutes before they registered a score 19 were gone by the time they got their opening point from play.

And once the game started to get away from them they didn’t deviate from the game-plan, making a heavy defeat not just a likelihood, but an absolute certainty.

Crowds are down in the early rounds of the Championship and it’s hardly surprising. It’s difficult to believe that anyone would want to pay €30 to watch football that dull and lacking ambition.

Thankfully, any team playing like this won’t last long into the summer and there is still entertainment to be had.